DAPPER IN TRAINING
3 Ugly Tie Knots That Need To Go Away ASAP!
15 December 2016
All you guys that have been reading my blog for some time now know perfectly well that I can be a bit of an ass every now and then.
So in accordance with such impression, here are 3 tie knots that need to die in a fire.
As soon as possible.
I know, it’s so nice to keep your looks fresh and varied every now and then. And sure, we are all free to go out of our comfort zones and expose ourselves to new stuff.
We’re clearly not heartless robots. We love new experiences.
So yeah, it crosses our minds with regularity: “Being quite the modern gentleman I am, I guess I will try a new necktie knot today!”
That’s nice. The excitement feels nice. You can’t wait for tomorrow to come so you can put on that tie around your shirt’s collar and go through the intricate steps to create this new, amazing, bold tie knot you have in mind.
Guys, there are limits.
Yes, there are certain lines. And these lines can be crossed. And sometimes they do get crossed. Don’t be the line crosser. Nobody likes line crossers.
3 Tie Knots That Should’ve Never Been Invented
AKA the lines you should not cross.
1. The Trinity Knot
Let’s start with probably the worst offender – the Trinity knot. Or as I call it, the Unholy Trinity knot. The concept of this knot is to end up with three layers overlapping each other, therefore creating the “trinity” that gives it its name.
Now I have no clue who came up with with this great idea of tie knots looking like you’re showing the back of the actual tie, but all it achieves is making the tie look like a knotted mess.
It kind of makes me think of a collar brooch made of silk… and we all can agree brooches are not meant to be worn by any self-respecting man.
Brace yourself for the next one.
2. The Eldredge Knot
Now that I have the displeasure to see this one again, I take back what I said about the Trinity knot. These all are tied (no pun intended) at the top post of atrocious tie knots.
I have no words to even describe what the goal of this knot is – I see some diagonals again overlapping each other, but the whole thing to me looks like you have a man in a turban hanging from your neck.
Is it an original knot?
But it’s the bad type of original, as wearing your gloves protruding from your chest pocket is original.
3. The Cafe Knot
This one is a big contender to take the cake. Not only is this knot so horrifying it deserves its own horror movie (“The Night of the Horrid Knot” if you ask me), on top of that it is a damn difficult knot to tie.
And I’m not going to go into the steps of tying this knot. I am too much of a nice guy to torture you like that.
But the end result is really a big, big mess. I can’t even describe it properly because it looks like an amorphous creature. Oh look, I guess I just described it!
Just look at the featured image and come to your own conclusions…
And It Doesn’t Stop There!
Oh no, not at all.
When bad taste and human creativity come together, terrible things can come out of such joint effort.
(Related reading: 15 Of The Most Cringeworthy Suit and Tie Errors Men Make)
I don’t even know what these knots are called, how they were invented, why they still exist or why would anyone not DUTIOHID (dressing under the influence of heavy illegal drugs) would wear them.
Am I just exaggerating my opinions here?
Well, judge for yourself:
What’s So Wrong With Classic, Elegant, Simple Tie Knots?
I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
So why do so many guys feel the urge to go out of their way to come up with these ridiculous knots that do nothing but bring down an otherwise classy suit and tie look?
Feels a bit too restrictive not having a plethora of options?
Good news, you don’t have to stick to a single knot every single time (and you really shouldn’t!). There are many nice options for you, options that can keep things fresh and interesting everyday, and most important, without sacrificing the dignity of wearing a well-tied knot around your collar.
Yes, I can be an ass, but I can also be quite the generous gentleman, so I am putting together another blog post, but this time talking about the 3 essential tie knots you really, really should know.
And those 3 are most likely the only ones you will ever need to know.
But you’ll have to wait a bit longer for that.
For now, please let me know in the comment section below what is the most atrocious tie knot you have ever seen or if you know what those other knots are called please let me know, I’ll let my masochistic self indulge in all the monstrousness.